MY EXIT FROM: PARADISE

MY EXIT FROM: PARADISE

{BHRAM CHUM GACHAN: GHAR GACHE- HEA}

Satish Raina


Up-rooted, exasperated and mesmerized, I stood, on the lonely roads leading- NOWHERE. The destinations, very well known; but this time I, felt, as if, left on a lonely island, surrounded with water, with not a single drop to drink. Mind and soul paralyzed, eyes blinking briskly in hyper-tension, coupled with my family members flocking together, in utter chaos, adding to my existing agony, I was sure, doubly sure, that our journey through a great Turmoil has begun- ‘Unfortunately”. Had I, been left with any other option, this question haunts me till-date?

My grandmother, well clad in her traditional dress and attire, looked at the un-ending dangling roads, eyes teemed with saline tears; trickling down her face, like an Iceberg slowly melting down, in gloomy sunshine. She was totally expression-less. Had my Grand Ma, any other option, this question haunted her, till last breath deceived her.? My Parents, now, at the fag ends of their lives- stand perplexed, oftenly, deliberating, exhaustively, on the issues and astonishingly seeking explanations amongst their own auras. Intermittently, my 80 years old father, still carries six decade old nostalgic memories, even under the overlap of Dementia, and always tries hard to gather his sweetest memories, and live with them. Is he left with any other option, the question, still keeps, haunting him? The agonies of leaving our homes and hearth in our Motherland, made all hearts bleed profusely without an iota of doubt and still all elder people desperately pray to have their last breath in lap of their Motherland –KASHIR. Are they not entitled to have their last desires, full- filled? The answer, of this vital question, I leave for everyone of us, to ponder upon, as I always personally feel that eyes of my Parents- seek an explanation to this “Privilege”. Can we contribute our valued attentions towards this issue, as a mark of humble gesture towards them?

Believe, me I am still not able to gauge the real fathom of agony which everyone is/was reeling through, and am struggling hard with my vocabulary; but shockingly, the words suddenly start fading and falling short, to enable me in detailing the exactness of the situation.

In fine, the hard fact still persists, un-altered that my heart still bleeds for our “Beloved Motherland-KASHIR”, in spite of the fact, that I am in possession of what I were devoid of, back home. Here, I am suddenly reminded of very aptly written lines by Shri Essan Kambri :-
 
“SHEESH MAHLOON ME HUM KO NA LE- JAYEE,

AIENA-E DEKH LEYENGE TO DARR JAYAENGE

THAKK GAYE HAIN BAHUT, APNE GHAR JAYAENGE…..

KAMBRI…..APPKA IK THIKANA TO HAI,

JIN KE GHAR HI NAHI, WOH KIDAR JAYAENGE”

THAKK GAYE HAIN BAHUT, APNE GHAR JAYAEN”


(Satish Raina is originally from Kashmir and was a resident of Pam-posh Colony, Natipora, Srinagar till 17th April 1990. He has done his research in "Behavioural Dynamics" while completing his MBA)
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